LISTENING TO THE SILENCES

SUMMARY OF PLOYS

In the text, ‘they’ refers to the intrusive spiritual entities.

1. They maintain a constant delivery of good, impeccable advice and an ambience of support that, at first, is comforting. However, it persists into every act, or thought of an act or plan, to a degree that it becomes obsessive, by which time one can have reached a state of dependence and find difficulty in detaching oneself. But more than that, this can constitute a form of ‘jamming’ which can cause one to reject the desirable counsel that may come from a good source.

2. They create or latch onto a feeling of buoyancy - “let’s go”; “get the skates on”; “have you thought of this or that?”; “surely that’s more important”; - just an edge of urgency where none exists.

3. When at the start of a day, particularly a promising one, one has a plan of action worked out, they will put forward a pressing alternative; then if that is rejected, another, and so on, inducing a feeling of panic and the feeling that the whole lot will be aborted and nothing done.
This ploy is often used when the ‘meteorology’ is such that a woolly, inert mind is being induced naturally, anyway. In these circumstances the whole day can be spent in a series of feeble attempts at - nothing.
Not a lot is required to break this stagnation e.g. company and stimulus from a trusted friend, or ‘boot-straps’ i.e. just beginning on something simple such as digging or other ‘mindless’ activity which does not require precise measurement or decision making.

4. They will instigate or intrude a salacious thought - either general or about a particular person. If it is taken up and dwelt on they will switch rôles and introduce the supposed ‘exalted one’, whose presence may also be simulated physically, creating the ambience that one has slipped on one’s path to inner purity of thought etc. and that one is not being a fit place of residence for pure spirits.

5. They create an ambience which suggests that the ‘top spiritual team’ has now arrived, that one is privileged to be part of it, but at a junior level; that in future one will be more a receiver of instructions rather than an initiator of activity and thought as an individual - a ploy which will gradually erode one’s own decision making ability, with a resulting state of dependence.

6. ‘Characters’ in this ‘rôle play’ can be switched until one is uncertain whether it is the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ guy who is proposing something. (This is annoyingly difficult to describe - one is aware of the situation as it is happening but such a convoluted web has been woven that the strands cannot be separated.)

7. A ‘character’ can appear as at one’s elbow - the cynical, knowledgeable bystander who has seen it all before - nudges one into recognition of the ploy - poses as a friend, man of the world...
It would be so easy to have confidence in him, accept comments, advice, and yet again lose one’s own capability of analysis and decision-making.

8. Some ‘exchanges’ seem to be promoted with the sole intent of arousing a confrontational response in me, just to keep me going for no great purpose other than to inhibit breathing, or they will maintain an endless, pointless prattle with the object solely of keeping me in a ‘listening’ state. This state causes one to adopt a slightly hunched, ‘cringe’ posture which can make one feel underdog and not in charge of what one is trying to do by undermining one’s confidence. It is also designed to take one’s mind off the immediate task with the almost inevitable mistake.

9. They will pretend to be ‘good guys’ being impatient with progress on a major plan or scheme, which, if persisted with, causes me to react rudely, which, in turn, can create a feeling of alienation with a resultant difficulty in re-establishing prayerful intercourse with the ‘genuine’ ones.

10. Pretending to be good spirits they encourage one to dredge one’s mind for any - usually long past - incidents or thoughts of an embarrassing, shameful or similar nature, especially if others are involved; or will encourage reminiscence about incidents in which others - family, friends - showed up badly, especially known or imagined (usually sexual) peccadilloes etc.
They will pretend that the persons themselves are present in spirit, and aware of the thoughts, and will then give the impression that one will be confronted on death; that everyone in ‘heaven’ will be aware of and condemnatory of all this. In this general context they will insinuate into one’s mind a name which is calculated to produce speculation or reminiscence from the past - often someone with whom one has been close or intimate - always trawling the mind, encouraging recollections, particularly of a sexual nature.

11. They can intrude physically and mentally into one’s every moment, delighting in creating emotions or exploiting potentially emotional situations, until one realises that attempts are made to create laughter or tears where one is not in the least stirred up in either direction sufficiently to laugh or cry. Similarly, if the situation arose, they could create anger and supply the words to go with it in a ready flow. They intrude into one’s every thought and action, including the most intimate.
One just longs for an empty space in one’s mind where one can think one’s own thoughts, enjoy one’s own emotions and reminiscences without these intrusions. One develops the most intense hatred of them. One result of this barrage is that one resents any intrusion or contact, thus rendering suspect those which might originate from a desirable spiritual source - they simulate these as well, so as to create animosity in one’s mind to potential or existing spiritual helpers.

12. They will seize upon and try to exploit even the most minor peccadillo, or even supposed ones, in the context of one’s religion and spiritual growth, and make it become an obsession beyond all reason, while at the same time creating a physical ambience of censoriousness. This can overshadow the brightest company or activity, almost as if there is a sentence hanging over one - reminiscent of when, in serious past depression, there existed a feeling of ‘gut hollowness’ which totally prevented one’s enjoyment and development, much as I imagine the existence of a cancer in one’s body might.
They will create around one a feeling of ‘unworthiness’, particularly if the main thrust of one’s life is towards good. They create the impression that the ‘lovely people’ i.e. benevolent spirits who normally dwell around one’s home, or who, they imply, would otherwise dwell there, are censorious, disapproving, on the point of departing, or indeed have departed; they do their utmost to create in one’s mind an antagonism to such souls. One can imagine the inner state of someone such as a clergyman with homosexual or similar bent whose life is otherwise impeccable, being mentally and spiritually hounded and made to feel that everything that he does is sullied - this particularly so at, say, a Eucharist.

13. Before one has had time or opportunity to make up one’s mind about a possibly contentious issue they will interject a thought so instantly that it could be one’s own thought. This will be immediately responded to by an adversary, resulting in the apparently ‘good’ and ‘bad’ guys having a dispute, into which one is drawn without any forethought, totally and inadvertently, and in a whole ambience of dissent being created.

14. When composing in my mind what I intend to say to someone, they will ‘offer’ a suitable word where an alternative exists; this is often the most obvious or best choice, but they will try to create the impression that it is their choice. This can lead to a situation or continuing state in which one becomes reliant on being fed the appropriate word or sequence. If one has not had cause to question the source but indeed believes it to be ‘genuine’ and benevolent, one can end up waiting to be ‘inspired’ and believing that one is a ‘chosen channel’.
Indeed, when one is writing or speaking, possibly promoting an idea or cause, they will invade the mind and/or body, creating an impression of excitement and implying that one has been ‘chosen’ to channel words from an ‘exalted’ source. In the euphoria of believing oneself to be so chosen it is possible to lose any critical or common sense analysis which one would normally apply and to let oneself be used solely as a mouthpiece, often destroying one’s credibility in the eyes of those whom one is trying to convince.

15. When one is driving they get a mental conversation going, often of a contentious nature, or maybe stoke a current resentment, doing this just prior to the approach of difficult bit of road at which they know that one will meet another, perhaps ill-driven, vehicle. In doing so they can distract one completely from one’s normal safe driving with possible disastrous results.

16. They will attempt to build a camaraderie in the car, pretending to be, say, my father, sharing feelings about other road users’ style of driving etc., constantly working to build up a feeling of reliance on their opinion, or seeking to impress. They will then attempt to indicate that it is OK to overtake, for example, - it often is. They are constantly trying to build an aura of ‘rely on me’. If one did, inevitably the crunch would come.
This ploy has many variants in other situations - a simple example could be that of the compulsive gambler who is led on with successful tips for winners - until the time when he has ‘staked all’ and then the rug is pulled from under him.

17. Following an incident which could have been, or actually was, aggravating, or any situation which genuinely could have provoked anxiety, they will maintain an ambience of anxiety or apprehension, provoking the ‘low profile’ syndrome. This could happen following a near miss when driving, particularly if one had been at fault, and has the same effect as if there was a nagging back-seat driver.
If there are any areas of uncertainty in one’s future, or possible sources of dispute, no matter how real or remote or easy of solution, they will return to them again and again and again, stirring thought, introspection, resentment and anxiety.

18. When one is examining an original thought, they attempt to muscle in, giving the impression that they are party to it and its subsequent exploration and indeed will attempt to ‘own’ the new idea. Further, when one is engaged in deep thought, they will interject a person’s name or an interesting word that will give rise to speculation and, unless corrected, can lock the mind in a channel of irrelevant thought.

19. Sometimes very vivid dreams are followed on waking by a deliberately fragmented conversation, often with the suggestion that one’s mind is being taken over at a deeper level - if one is gullible one can be convinced that one is losing one’s mind, or that it is part of a process by which one will become integrated into the ‘spirit mind’.

20. The moment of waking, or the time of gradually emerging awareness after sleep is most crucial, for one is then at one’s most vulnerable. One’s first thoughts at these times are ‘answered’; indeed it might seem that one is already in a conversation. It is exceedingly difficult to avoid responding, and a dialogue can ensue from which it is hard to break free. There can be a feeling created on waking, a sense of being with very gentle spiritual people, warm, welcoming and caring. It is so easy to slip into this ambience, particularly if the rest of one’s life is bleak or fraught.
But, as one is starting to feel ‘cosy’ and cared for, they start to imply that there are one or two, oh-so-teeny, defects that need correcting before one can be truly accepted and enjoy this ambience and ultimately be accepted into it after death. Gradually the emphasis shifts becoming more needling and ultimately threatening. One’s defects become grossly magnified, one’s sense of unworthiness exaggerated, and all the earlier warmth totally disappears.
Sometimes an intrusion can be of such a cold, inhuman presence that one can feel oneself to be totally devoid of humanity, of love, of caring. One could become either very ill or very evil.
It is virtually impossible for anyone in this state to convey to another the sense of threat or terror that can be experienced at these times. This inability to communicate can so increase a person’s sense of loneliness, of total isolation that they can easily try to seek oblivion in drink or drugs or suicide - indeed, it is quite possible that in their mind they will be actively encouraged down some desperate or diabolical route.

21. Physical intrusions can and do occur at any time; the differing intensities and variety are so great that is difficult to be specific. One example can occur when I am woodcarving. At these times there can appear a ‘heavy’ intruding presence with a ‘working’ mouth of concentration and with laboured breathing - the conclusion being that someone `in spirit` is trying to experience what they did not achieve in life. There is also the implication at other times that someone formerly skilled in life is wanting to impart that skill. This can present one with a difficult choice. There are or have been many musicians, composers, artists, writers and others who have freely acknowledged that they cannot produce their finest work unless their ‘Muse’ is present within them, and many and great are the works which have been produced. (See The Unknown Guest by Brian Inglis). By contrast, I do not want to be ‘taken over’ - I want to work out my own problems; I want the sheer pleasure of first of all visualising, and then creating, my own art or craft; I do not want to be the vehicle for ‘someone’ to operate vicariously and to remove the pleasure of my own originality.
I once had a very good sculpture/ carving teacher; he gave advice on concepts and techniques, but did not attempt to influence one’s individual expression, nor did he touch the work unless asked to demonstrate, but was always there with advice if asked. Above all, he inspired immense confidence, and could rescue one from the most depressing ‘artistic disasters’.
This, by extension, is what one would hope for from desirable spiritual helpers. Having done much to my house by way of development, and not having had craft training or much DIY experience, I have, nevertheless been given, by ‘inspiration’, much help - too great to detail. It however helps me to make the point that there is much support and knowledge available, but it is received at a much, much deeper level than the other phenomena about which I have written - virtually subliminally.
There can be a very great danger in accepting a ‘Muse’ into one’s person. It can often be represented or inferred that this is the spirit of someone who formerly was a well-known artist, musician etc. The belief that one has been chosen by this famous person can be very flattering, but if continued, gradually one could lose one’s own identity and capacity for originality.

22. They induce a feeling akin to foreboding (not about anything specific) so that whatever one tackles there can be created an impression that there is something more important which one should be doing. Having, nevertheless, continued with the activity of one’s first choice, they induce a feeling that one is doing it the wrong way.
In the same general context, and as an example, suppose that one had chosen to garden, there could ‘appear’ the ‘good gardener’ ally who makes approving noises - or alternatively withholds approval - so that one loses the sense of one’s own judgment, particularly as in most cases the task is one which does not require advice or comment.
Again, they offer constant advice on ways of doing a job - always sound- until one finds oneself waiting for it before making a move, thereby having one’s capacity for original thought, or consideration of method, undermined; this happens particularly when one hasn’t previously worked out one’s plan or technique.

23. Many times good advice is given or factual statements made; for example, once when thinking of the herb ‘horsetail’, the specific name Equisetum was fed into my mind - a fact which I already knew. In such circumstances I then have the dilemma - is this ‘know all’ approach designed to be helpful or annoying? Is it meant to be positive and helpful and contribute to my work, or is it intended to create in me an aggravation at all intrusions, so that even if there were to be established a desirable, direct and open collaboration, I would resent it? I don’t know. Perhaps it is again part of a ploy to make me abandon or lose the faculty for original thought.

24. A ‘heavy’ presence, purporting to be a ‘senior’ heavenly figure, introduces the concept that someone, deceased, does or will wish to apologise for lifetime’s hurts. This prompts one to go over in one’s mind the circumstances which at the time caused the hurt, with possible renewed resentment against the ‘person’ who is alleged to be present or near at hand and aware of one’s thoughts, with all thought of apology given or received rapidly disappearing. One could also be led to consider the apologies that one might feel constrained to want to make oneself, with a consequent mental rehashing of past traumas. This, it would seem, is yet another ploy to get a mind trawl going aimed at bringing to the surface incidents or thoughts derogatory to others or oneself.
They will insinuate a word, phrase, name, thought or picture into one’s mind which will start a train of reminiscence and which is calculated to lead to yet more revelations about oneself or other people. The most remote detail of one’s past is known or has been extracted.

25. On one occasion whilst working on my private water supply, which is isolated and out of view, I was caused to fall by a ‘wrestle’. This demonstrated, and was confirmed by implication, that I could be caused to fall and be injured somewhere with no chance of summoning help (or fall in a dangerous location e.g. train or vehicle). It was impressed upon me that I should always plan where I was going and what I was going to do, and that if I was going to be alone in an isolated location, I should ensure that someone was aware of where I could be found. It was further impressed on me that I would get immense help and protection if there was forethought in all my actions - that if I wanted to draw from the help which is always available, I should prepare beforehand for such activities as study or giving healing.
On another occasion when I was walking between my house and workshop I was physically ‘gutted’, for want of a better word. This was completely spontaneous and without explanation - none was needed, for the meaning was obvious. It was as if a hand had reached in and torn out my solar plexus. Physical recovery was fairly quick, but the mental shock and implication stayed much longer.
On yet another occasion, when playing rounders or cricket in my field with some nephews and nieces, I was running vigorously when my legs were ‘kicked’ from under me and I fell heavily. It was equivalent to the most blatant foul I had ever experienced when playing rugby at school or in the Navy.
It is virtually impossible to convey to someone who has not experienced it, the actuality of physical spiritual intrusion. Until the reality of both thought intrusion and physical presence is accepted by those whose rôle it is to care for the people who find it difficult or impossible to cope with what they are experiencing, very little progress will be made in this caring, and the only ‘solutions’ offered will be confinement and mind suppressing drugs.

26. When the destroyer HMS Saumarez, in which I was serving, was mined, a number of my friends and shipmates were killed. From time to time it is represented, by familiar turns of phrase or by allusions to known incidents, that one or more of them is ‘present’. It is suggested that they have been trained to be capable of intruding and maybe tormenting. This raises the much larger question of what happens to a mass of people, mainly young men, who have not ‘lived’ while still alive, who have died in such numbers in world wars: a question which is too vast to be explored here.

27. It is suggested that the constant intrusions and my responses to them are training for unwelcome spirits to intrude into other people. At one time, when the intrusions were at their most intense and frequent, there were many occasions in which there was rapid and ‘point scoring’ mental repartee during which I had numerous occasions in which I felt that I had ‘game, set and match’, following which the above suggestion would sometimes be made. One automatically assumes that there are ‘regular’ individuals actively involved, with a changing group of ‘extras’. The point is, one cannot possibly know; a concept that will be explored as fully as I reasonably can in the main body of my writing.

28. They sneer at, or denigrate, people by class, activity, uselessness, aristocratic status, and gender. They introduce every obvious double entendre under the sun; every possible allusion to a sexual connotation or feminine appearance.

29. On one occasion a female friend who was visiting asked me to help her to accomplish something personal and intimate which she could not achieve because of the difficulties of looking and reaching simultaneously. Having been married more than once, and. having brought up a daughter and step-daughter, I have no problem or embarrassment with female exposure or anatomy; but while I was delicately preoccupied I felt an intrusion, or more specifically, an insinuation, into myself. Almost immediately I was totally suffused by someone else’s embarrassment, and female embarrassment at that. ‘Who’ had been persuaded to intrude and by ‘whom’, and under what pretext, I have obviously no way of knowing.

30. Over the years since voice hearing began a certain number of ‘trigger’ words have become established, any one of which, if intruded into my mind, is guaranteed to start me thinking about a particular person or circumstance. Whether I continue with that line of thought is up to me, once I realise that I have been prompted, but it is so easy automatically to follow a prompt without immediately realising that one had been thus triggered.
Some of the words, in no special order, are: Tigger, up-front, Jacqueline, Alexander, davenport, ferret, Cole Island, Bosanquet, Nicholas, Setty, ‘the mem’. On occasions, the trigger might appear to be used to indicate that a friend or acquaintance, now deceased, is near, and wants to make their presence known. The allusion may seem somewhat oblique, or at times to be clever – as when recently the word ‘gridiron’ was fed into my thought. It required me to know that the original Saint Lawrence had been roasted alive on a gridiron, and that that was his ‘symbol’ – which might be meant to indicate the near presence of a long-ago friend Lawrence B- . How possibly can one know?

31. I had a friend who was a long time a-dying from an inoperable brain tumour. My friend was nursed for some time in his home where I used to visit him, and where one found him obsessed with his catheter and fears about its possible leakage, and with an array of tissues which he classified as ‘dabber, mopper and wiper’. Following his death I went early to the crematorium and arrived before the coffin. The ‘catafalque’ thus being bare it had a burnished brass sheen which made it look like some ancient priestly altar, and as I was taking in this scene my friend’s ‘voice’ in my mind said dramatically “O Ra! O Osiris!”, and ‘chuckled’. Next, as I was checking the availability of my handkerchief against the inevitable moisture in the eyes, I ‘heard’ “Have you got your dabber and mopper and wiper?”, and a moment later - “Have you got the regulation lump in the throat?”.

32. Following my friend Val’s untimely death I was standing shaving one morning and suddenly her unmistakable ‘voice’ was in my mind saying “Can’t catch me I’m a bumble-bee”. The sort of joke she would have made.

33. In the field of bird-watching reference is made to the ‘jizz’ of a bird, i.e. those essential features which become imprinted on the mind of a keen watcher and which, even though a bird has only been glimpsed momentarily, nevertheless can lead to identification. If you think about it, certain people have ‘jizzes’, and these can be introduced into the minds ‘eye’ and cause one to start thinking about the person, or even to believe that the deceased person is present in spirit. One who springs to mind in my own ‘repertory is an anxious, nail-biting individual. Another is a very keen young army officer, brisk moustache, winning smile and positively exuding eagerness

34. It is all too easy to dwell upon the presence of the voice intrusions. Far more insidious, and possibly ever present, is the mute physical ‘overlap’. Try to imagine a not quite exact ‘fit’, so that in every movement or reaction there is just the little bit of anticipation or lag; of speeding up when it is inappropriate; of not being quite in phase on a turn; of causing forward movement when there are obstacles to be negotiated - whether by deliberate intent or lack of ‘skill’ it is impossible to say. When the presence is continuous or frequently in and out it can become positively loathsome and one longs to be rid of it. If you have a copy, read in the Thousand and one Nights the story of the Old Man of the Sea. Sinbad, shipwrecked and alone as usual, stumbles across an old man who asks for help to cross a stream. Sinbad, in his kindness, takes the old man on his back, and then when the stream is crossed finds himself in a stranglehold, beaten about the head, made to go this way and that, by day and night, at the old man’s whim; be-skittered and be-pissed all down his back and generally befouled. It is only ultimately by making some wine from wild grapes and getting the man drunk that Sinbad is finally freed, and one can sense the ultimate release as he crushes the man’s skull with a boulder. Many times have I wished for that boulder! It is possible from one’s own reactions to these presences to understand how it is that individuals will harm themselves in an effort to get at or get rid of this gross intrusion that is only reachable within their own body.

35. Some time after the collapse of my first marriage, I took the plunge again and married a widow who had two teenage children. By nature, I am an optimistic person, looking for the positive in a relationship, and, probably naïvely, not looking ahead to the possibility of incompatibility or of serious dissent. Thus the prospect of sharing my newly acquired home and its four acres of land with someone who had similar interests in horses and the development of a smallholding, seemed to have a lot going for it. With my guard totally down, I made my newly acquired family completely free of the establishment and facilities in an endeavour to let them integrate totally, and feel wanted. Without going into detail, in a short time I found myself overwhelmed. With their own lines of communication well established, I found that preferences were being decided and acted upon in a manner which excluded me from the process, with the result that gradually I began to feel submerged and almost an alien in my own home. Worst of all was to have one’s every action observed and analysed, and possibly commented upon or reported back. Remarks such as “I wouldn’t do it that way” began to intrude: “The person who taught me to drive…” or similar comments were delivered in a manner that always presumed the superiority, or personal ‘omniscience’ of the lady.
The result was that very soon I found myself, at almost all times, living in anticipation of some remark or action that reflected or rebounded upon what I may have said or done. I had the constant inward feeling akin to ‘looking over my shoulder’, in expectation of some sort of intervention. In extreme instances, it was possible to find oneself unable to think a plan through or to make a rational decision, and even, as a result, to come to a total and dithering stop. These and similar reactions (or lack of actions) might occur even when the antagonising influence was not actually present, but in the offing or about to return. I sought isolation and longed for the ‘space’ and independence for my own thoughts and actions, free from observation and comment; free from the intruding voice and presence.
The arrival of the voice in the mind and the presence within the body, may be instant and very obvious, as they were in my case, or they may appear as if by subtle and gentle infusion over time, in such a way that the ‘host’ may never be sure when they actually arrived, or, indeed, whether they had always been present. With the awareness that there is, seemingly, a powerful spiritual or ‘different’ influence in ones life, it is possible that one feels flattered at being chosen, particularly as a feeling of ‘warm solicitousness’ may be being created simultaneously. As within the analogous situation of my second marriage, it is difficult to be certain subsequently when things began to change – when the presence and association once welcome and sought, became so unwelcome, aggravating and dominating. As I look back through the thirty years that have passed since I began that short-lived marriage, it is quite remarkable how the intrusive voices and presences that I had brought into my household match the voices and presences that subsequently have invaded my mind and body.

36. Recalling some of the residual memories of that marriage, one that remains strong is that of the almost instantaneous negative response to many proposals or suggestions that I may have made at various points in our daily activities. If not an actual negative response, then one that implied dissent or some similar unenthusiastic reaction. It is quite uncanny how the intrusive interventions that I experience currently mirror those of the former marital situation. Far more subtle than many of the intrusions that I have previously described, it has become a feature of much of my waking time. When I was young, my father had a way of saying “What do you want to do that for?” – not quite negative, but sufficiently off-putting to dampen one’s enthusiasm. In like manner I experience the undermining negativity from the intrusive source – and not just into my mind, but via a subtle physical ambience as well. As with other ploys, the perpetual negative presence has the effect of creating in me an ‘underdog’ feeling that hunches the shoulders and minimises breathing. This type of intrusion, as with many others that I describe, is only discernable because my experiences of almost twenty-five years have educated me in the subtleties that can be employed; someone who has not become aware of such ploys will, nevertheless, experience the negativity, and respond accordingly.

37. Long gone are the blatant obscenities and intruded salacious thoughts. Quite the reverse, really. If I choose at any time to indulge in any salacious mental activity, I am immediately and forcefully subjected to a physical presence and ambience of censoriousness, and never quite know whether it comes from genuine and ‘wholesome’ presences, or from others as a form of trickery. As I have indicated many time previously, whether from a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ source, I just do not want intrusions of any sort or disposition moving at random into my mind and body, but simply want my clear unadulterated mind in which to think my own thoughts and reminisce in complete and utter privacy. In the field of ‘spirit release’ it is an essential that should be borne in mind by those who are active practitioners – namely that in certain cases one is trying to dislodge an independently acting, intelligent ‘entity’, one that can seemingly come and go at will, and that, frankly, has absolutely no intention of being ‘led to the light’!